All the Fine Glam and Freaky Fashion on the 71st Emmy Awards Show Red Carpet

A tipster who may or may not be up for an Emmy this year alerted Jezebel that this week, some rented dresses may have not shown up on time for the big event. If this is true, I welcome it: As I note in virtually every awards-show fashion post, red carpet looks have narrowed to the point of being rote, and if one or two rented label gowns don’t show, would it be so terribly bad if some nominees had to get creative, freak their pajamas with some diamonds, and roll up on the carpet looking DIY-fly for once? It would not!

But as the unofficial kick0ff to Autumn/Winter awards season, the Emmys don’t tend to be as freaky as, say, the Grammys or even the Golden Globes, on the whole putting forth stylist-created formal gowns and leaving it at that. I hope and pray to be wrong on this point overall, though, so let’s find out together in Jezebel’s annual Emmys red carpet view; as ever, I’ll be constantly updating in real time as people step out and into their (please Jesus) moment. And I’m just gonna go ahead and say the Masked Singer people, showing up early, are setting a good precedent. The draping on the Ladybug!

The This Is Us kids are giving us pretty decent tulle overall: Eris Baker, 14, is wispy and almost haunting in tiered silver-grey, and Faith Herman, 10, is serving a true tween icon-in-training in banana yellow and that pose.

Ryan Michelle Bathe is my usual red carpet icon in blue with shrug sleeves, and husband Sterling K. Brown always keeps it crispy; I am disappointed they did not color-coordinate as usual—the only couple I ever really want to see color-coordinating, to be honest—but the tones are complimentary, so let me get over it.

Dascha Polanco looks like a real-life orchid in a Siriano gown and I’m here for it, more floral cosplay please! Better Call Saul’s Rhea Seehorn is giving us gathered lawyer, and The Good Place’s William Jackson Harper is serving a pretty good pocket square.

Okay, this is the flowery shit I can get down with. Full Frontal writer and comedian Kristin Bartlett is the perfect manifestation of those sprayed ombré Valentine’s Day roses, while Pose writer/producer Our Lady J just went straight for the regular dozen in lover’s red. Sarah Sutherland, late of Veep, is giving us dainty cut-outs that immediately made me think of hydrangea and Reformation.

Charlie Barnett’s subtle, star-patterned tux is nice, and Padma Lakshmi and Sarah Goldberg (Barry) each opted for a nice shade of ice blue that I would really love in a wall paint, currently taking suggestions if you know of one. Noted author Kristin Cavallari rolled through with leg and canary yellow, a nice gown that is generally unsurprising to me.

Indya Moore DID THAT as usual, full Grecian cyborg status and my favorite look so far. James Van Der Beek is fun but also looks a bit like James Van Der Beek portraying Diplo; Lyric Ross, another This Is Us teen (This Is Us employs 70 percent of Hollywood), is sleek in conceptual marble; Vera Farmiga did a version of prairie dress that I do not hate, especially for a carpet look.

Here is Indya Moore’s tiny pillbox bag, I covet it.

Eliza Scanlen’s icy lavender tulle gives her a ballerina-in-music-box vibe; Greta Lee’s slime-green satin is exactly the kind of interesting choice I want to see out here, more of this! Jae W. Suh, with Randall Park, went for sleek brocade; Melanie Liburd’s wedding gown/tux hybrid is striking and fun, too! Give me some goddamn humor out here, anything that is not boring for the love of god.

SNL’s Ego Nwodim came through in her own version of Grecian cyborg, or the dancefloor queen of the last night at Studio 54. Jameela Jamil’s structured ocean blue gown is pointing to a color story of the night; Laverne Cox is the only person I can currently think of who can wear that much tulle without it wearing her.

Yeeeeess, Pose co-creator Steven Canals is here for sequined drama and I am here for him. The gradient cape!

Ashley Nicole Black is also giving us Grecian in mint green; Bethenny Frankel’s incredible ball bag is severe and perfect, like if someone fucks with her she can lob it at them; Patricia Clarkson is divine in those sleeves, and needs to get a pic with Steven Canals tonight or it will be an Instagram injustice.

Name a more iconic couple (Eugene Levy and Catherine O’Hara)—I’ll wait! Name a more iconic couple (Phoebe Waller-Bridge and Henry Winkler)—I’ll wait! Name a more iconic couple (RuPaul and his fucking suits)—I’ll wait!

Mother Elektra and Pose goddess Dominique Jackson is not playing in this queen of the universe look; Laura Linney’s draped sequins are somehow casual and dangerous; Karamo Brown’s cape is also pointing to a trend—capes, see also Dominique—sorry to my colleagues if I roll up to the office in a superhero suit tomorrow.

Aidy Bryant went cute mid-formal in a party frock and fun shoes; Mary Steenbergen knows that a white jumpsuit will always stun; Mj Rodriguez, though. I mean, Pose should receive every Emmy but also the entire cast and crew are fully best-dressed tonight, without question. That fuschia! That drape! That neckline!

Gwendoline Christie is the new Ruler of the Republic, okay? Jodie Comer and Mandy Moore are traditionally red carpet’ing; Nina West’s burgundy satin provides full hand coverage, an underrated quality in a gown.

Niecy Nash is everything in this rose-mauve sequin, leading me to believe that someone should cast her as a torch singer in her next role; Regina King’s seafoam crepe is pretty and simple; Susan Kelechi Watson is another in the night’s red-and-pink colorway; Viola Davis went for classic, contrasting elegance.

Chrissy Metz went for the season’s metallic trend, which is always fun and the opposite of rote; Hailie Sahar kept it ice-blue and appliqué, too; Fleabag’s Sian Clifford is stoic in that column gown and the beautiful draping on those sleeves!

Here’s your Hot Priest, Andrew Scott. Look, I’m doing service journalism here, OK?

Whoa, Jon Snow in the building. This dude is fucking psyched to finally be able to get a haircut.

Patricia Arquette is doing prairie dress via Guilty Remnant; Natasha Lyonne is fantastic in that gilded, pleated thing. But… Kerry Marisa Washington! She always brings it but I have to say, this is one of her best looks in years, her full bossnazz in undeniable effect. I live!

The COLORS! Ava DuVernay’s red carpet looks are always glamorous and intellectual—she loves a mock turtleneck and a gorgeous embellishment. Janet Mock is orange sherbet honey iced tea aka The Shit (word to Kelis and Princess Nokia) in that organza gown; Taraji P. Henson is giving us dainty waves with a party-girl angle, the triangular bob is indefatigable.

When all else fails, hues: Maya Rudolph, Naomi Watts, Samantha Bee, and Sophie Turner.

How long will it take for you (me) to accept that apart from like, Saturday Night Live, we will probably never see Emilia Clarke or Nathalie Emmanuel in George R.R. Martin clothes again? At least they have good style, especially Emmanuel’s dripping-crystal cut-out. The Amys Poehler and Sedaris inherently brought fun to their looks, cause if they aren’t willing to do it, then what hope is there for the rest of us. Dying to borrow that ostrich-feather clutch.

Quick reminder that Angela Bassett is the queen of the world!

Billy Porter is deconstructing (and reconstructing) the traditional red carpet suit; best friends Michelle Williams and Busy Phillips are a breath of springtime; Sarah Snook is dressed fully like SHIV because SHIV is an icon; slay queen Zendaya is supermodeling in money green.

Kristen Bell’s gown is a real confetti party! The Pen15 geniuses Anna Konkle and Maya Erskine look nothing like their 13-year-old selves nor, thankfully, like 2002; Sandra Oh looks like a person who deserves to win a goddamn Emmy tonight.

Remember earlier when I was like, give me some DIY? Fire witch Carice Van Houten… she did that. More of this always! Muck up the system! Let’s get weird for awards season, forever and ever amen, as sure as those abstract cows (I think) painted on this gown! Thank you and good night!

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