What the cuss? 50 swear-word alternatives


Jenna Wolf of The Lotus Room


For 12 & Broad

Published 8:00 AM EDT Jul 19, 2019

It is true, as Mark Twain said, that “under certain circumstances, profanity provides relief denied even to prayer.”

We all have our favorite cuss words on hand for stubbed toes, moments of bewilderment and emphatic exclamations.

But how much does dirty language really belong in everyday conversations with ourselves and others?

Each word that we speak carries with it an inherent vibrational frequency. High vibrational language tends to leave people feeling happy, cared for and understood. Lower-frequency jargon can lead to feelings of belittlement, hurt or possible offense — even when the words are not intentionally directed at us.

While swearing is by no means “wrong,” in some conversations it can just be simply unnecessary.

Whether you’re hanging around impressionable children, conversing in work environments or looking to save money from the “swear jar,” it is valuable to keep a few cleaned-up terms in your back pocket for those four-letter-word life moments.

Shake up conversations, expand your vocabulary and elevate your language with these 50 swear-word alternatives sure to leave you and your listeners with the giggles rather than in shock:

  • Balderdash!
  • William Shatner!
  • Corn Nuts!
  • Dagnabbit!
  • Son of a monkey!
  • Barnacles!
  • Holy cow!
  • Poo on a stick!
  • Sugar!
  • Judas Priest!
  • Sufferin’ succotash!
  • Oh, snap!
  • Phooey!
  • Great Scott!
  • Bullspit!
  • Leapin’ lizards!
  • Cheese and crackers!
  • Frack!
  • Crappity!
  • Shitake mushrooms!
  • Fraggle Rock!
  • Cowabunga!
  • Shut the front door!
  • Gee willikers!
  • Mother of pearl!
  • Son of a gun!
  • Egad!
  • Tartar sauce!
  • Gadzooks!
  • Barbra Streisand!
  • Schnikes!
  • Jumpin’ Jehoshaphat!
  • Mother fathers!
  • Crikey!
  • Peas and rice!
  • Jeepers!
  • Blimey!
  • Galloping gremlins!
  • Oh, ship!
  • Zoinks!
  • Good night!
  • Fart knocker!
  • Malarkey!
  • Merlin’s beard!
  • Holy guacamole!
  • Oh, coconuts!
  • H-E-double hockey sticks!
  • Drat!
  • Ay, caramba!
  • What the cuss?

Jenna Wolf is a licensed massage therapist, yoga instructor, reiki master, ayurvedic practitioner, Belmont grad and owner of Nashville’s leading healing studio, The Lotus Room. A native Southern Californian, Jenna is inspired by nature and the art of ancient living through the practice of yoga and ayurveda. She believes in the power of positive thinking, the freedom of artistic expression and is a forever advocate of peace and love. For more information on massage, yoga, ayurveda and upcoming workshops, visit thelotusroomnashville.com. Like The Lotus Room on Facebook and follow Jenna’s personal journey into living The Good Life on Instagram @jennawolf.

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